Tim, Lisa and I were fortunate enough to get (free) tickets to see the filming of:
“Return of ‘Allo Allo“
It was quite an experience. A lo-o-o-o-o-ong experience. We were told to arrive at Granada Studios between 5.00pm and 6.00pm. Everyone congregated in The Rovers Return – the pub in Coronation Street (not the real one) awaiting instructions. Eventually after 7.00 pm we were escorted into the studio. My gosh, how disorganised were they. It took ages to get everyone in. We were near the back, not having priority seats, so didn’t get to sit together.
To get everyone in the right spirit, they had employed a comedian, fat Ted from Birkenhead (Liverpool), to entertain us. I loved him and his jokes. So many of his jokes were so corny – just as I like them!!
Eventually Rene (Gordon Kaye) came out and everyone went nuts. He was so OLD. It made sense of course, because the first series was made in 1982, so 25 years ago. And one by one they all came out: Yvette, Michelle, Officer Crabtree (the piloceman), Mimi, Le Clerc and Lieutenant Gruber. But in between every scene everyone disappeared and old Ted had to entertain us with jokes like:
(remember Ted is fat)
“I am bulimic – I just forget to throw up”
“I am on diet, in fact, I am on two diets: you just don’t get enough to eat on one”
Oh no! I can’t remember any more and Tim is no help either. He says some of them were just too painful so he has blocked them out of his memory.
Every scene was taken, and re-taken and re-taken … Then there were the long pauses. And more long pauses. Ted was doing his best, but there is only so much material a poor old comedian carries. He was expecting to entertain us for an hour or two, but as we only left after 11.00 pm (starving as we couldn’t stop for dinner), he was struggling after 3 hours. Near the end he was asking people in the crowd: “if you could order a pizza now, what would be on it?” Everyone was tired, hungry … and had enough. Ted was telling jokes, acting them out and drawing them out for as long as he could to try and makes his material last. All in all I think he did a brilliant job: well done Ted.
For those who are interested: 28th April 2007 is the date it will be on TV and apparently they will be panning over the audience, so you might even catch a glimpse of us ….